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Comment Wall - Via Jewish Museum of Maryland


  1. Hi Nathan! Your approach to the story was so clever; I remember playing this game years ago. The fact that it was an army with just women reminds me of the Valkyrie in Thor or the Amazons in Wonder Woman. It's funny that the story is everlasting; the soldiers are stuck in an infernal spiral that will never end, a nightmare in which they will never wake up. I think it gives the reader the liberty to imagine what can happen next or add some tension. It will be challenging to defeat those dragons, but it seems the goblins defeated all their enemies before; it could be possible.
    What I can suggest is that you create paragraphs. It was sometimes difficult to read because it was in one block.
    It was pretty easy to navigate on your website. The layout is simple and effective.
    Thank you for the story; I had fun reading it!

  2. Hi Nathan! I really enjoyed your story and thought it was super interesting and different! You're really good at details and describing things, I could see a lot of what I was reading being played out in my head. I'm also a big fan of cliff hangers so it made me want to come back and see if there were any updates! I would suggest creating paragraphs to help the flow and the layout of the story! It would be beneficial to the reader! All in all, I really liked your story and can't wait to see the others you come up with!

  3. Hey Nathan! Nice work on your portfolio, it's really helpful to see some of the other choices people are making with this particular type of project. The background image for your "Goblins in the Clan Castle" story made me laugh out loud, which set a fun tone for the story. I thought it was cool that you combined the story with so many different elements from Clash of Clans.

    Retelling the "Pandavas Look for Water" as a plane crash scenario is a really interesting idea, and I enjoyed it a lot. I can't help but notice both of your stories end on pseudo-cliffhangers; is that deliberate, so you can wrap them up later, or are you aiming to leave the audience wondering? I look forward to finding out.

    The only thing I can think to add would be some dialogue: maybe something between the goblins as they execute their plan, and perhaps a bit of in-flight conversation between the four friends. That's totally up to you, of course, it's just something I believe would help flesh out the characters a little.

    Regardless, really great work.

  4. Hi Nathan,

    I really like the visuals you added to your portfolio, and felt like you did a wonderful job! Reading your story "The Crash" was really interesting, and was something I have never read before. I really like how you used a lot of imagery in your story because it was helpful for the reader to see exactly what was going on. One thing I feel like you can add to your story to make it even better would be telling us where exactly they were headed on the flight. I also agree with Chris about adding more in flight dialogue. What were they thinking? Were they able to call any of their loved ones?

  5. Hi Nathan. Nice job on your portfolio; it's very interesting to see what other people are doing with this specific form of project. I laughed out loud when I saw the background image for your "Goblins in the Clan Castle" novel, which set the tone for the story. I thought it was amazing how you incorporated so many different elements from Clash of Clans into the plot. I thought your story was extremely fascinating and special, and I thoroughly enjoyed it! I could see a lot of what I was reading being acted out in my mind because you're so good at details and explaining stuff. I'm a sucker for cliffhangers, so I had and return to see if there had been any developments! I recommend using paragraphs to help with the story's flow and style! Although the semester is coming to an end, I hope to be able to revisit your website!

  6. Hello Nathan. I just read your story "Gold Digger", and I really liked it. I think that it is very introspective into how money cannot buy happiness. I also thought it was kind of funny as well. For example, when Rick was bored at the beginning of the story he decided to casually take his million-dollar McLaren out for a spin. To me that was funny, because he does something casually which would not be casual for almost anyone else. I do wonder why Kendall decided to sneak out and buy clothing without telling Nick. It seems to me like Nick loves Kendall so much that she would not have to do any of these things. Although, maybe she does not want anything to do with Nick, and/or she does not want to be seen with Nick due to not loving him. Although, I do not really feel sorry for Nick since he married someone who was so much younger than him so quickly. Overall a good story.


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